Monthly Archives: May 2013

Misty water colored…..

What is your earliest memory? Describe it in detail: the place, the setting, the sights, smells, and sounds.

Thanks for the inspiration, WordPress! I was just thinking about memories the other day, specifically that I don’t have many early memories. We’re talking…maybe less than 30 memories before the age of 10? Is that normal? I mean, my day-to-day memory is fine, and I’ve got a real head for numbers and factoids and whatnot.
But my very earliest memory…I remember going to visit some cousins on my dad’s side in Massachusetts. I think I was 4 or 5? I remember my older sister and I were sleeping on spare bunk beds and I got stuck with the bottom bunk, which the family’s dogs had used for their bed. And also perhaps makeshift litter box? I remember complaining about it smelling like pee or being wet or something. It was really gross, and might just explain why I’m not into the smell of dogs at ALL these days lol.
I don’t really remember much else from that visit, other than playing some kind of game with my (muuuuch older and cute) cousin, whose name escapes me. It was some kind of chase/tickle game maybe? I remember slapping his butt and then turning around and telling him it was his turn. And I remember with almost crystal clarity the “you’re a weirdo” look he gave me as he said, “I don’t think I should…” I asked him SO very innocently (truly!) why not. He replied that it was gross or wrong or something and then walked away.
I didn’t understand. It had been a fun game and I wanted him to spank me back; that was fun! But his reaction VERY clearly told me that I should be ashamed for thinking that. As early as some people know that they are not heterosexual, I knew I was not vanilla, though it would be years upon years before I learned that term or the accompanying language to talk about what I actually WAS. Am. But that’s another post.


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